You’ve worked across sports, recreation, higher education, adaptive recreation, and now the USTA. Was there a particular moment early in your career when you realized, “This is the work I’m supposed to be doing”?
Actually, it was more of a push-pull situation. I was trying to pull away, and it was pushing me forward. And I think I always did everything through an inclusion lens, and I never even thought I would be in this space. But not only from life experiences, but also, as you can hear, from the plethora of things I've been able to do and the people I've had the privilege to meet, I succumbed to it. I said, all right, this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
When you think about belonging, what does that actually mean to you?
I think for me, belonging isn't just being in a space. It's being in that space and being loved for who you are, being authentic, and feeling really comfortable. I don't necessarily like to say safe, so I just love to say you're in a space that makes you feel brave.
Nobody really can keep you safe, right? I mean, I think we've tried with multiple things, but anything can happen on any given day. But it takes a whole heck of a lot for you to be brave. Especially when you want to be your authentic self, and you aren't sure who the other people in the room are or whether they'll understand you.
None of that matters once you feel like you can be brave.
Can you remember a time when you walked into a room and immediately knew, “I belong here”?
It was my first day at campus recreation at my alma mater, the University of Central Florida. And I will never forget that day. It was my final interview, and they were walking me around in the office. I wasn't out at any job prior to that. And I walked in, and there were a ton of Pride flags, and these Pride placards, and those were the “safe zone” classes that they would teach, some of the directors and some of the staff that worked there.
I didn't know anything about that. All of a sudden, I saw all these pride placards and said, "Whoa, everybody's gay up in here,” and then all of a sudden I learned about the safe zone courses, and I was hooked. From that moment, I knew I had found my place. I knew that I could come out. And then 14 years later, I left that home to come here to a new home.
Visibility can shape what we believe is possible for ourselves. What did visibility mean to you when you were coming into your career?
I thought I had to put on a face. I thought I had to be someone else. But then, I started to realize how I was creating this space for the people who are coming behind me. And as I started meeting some of the students that I worked with at my previous role, I started realizing that, you know what, I have to continue to blaze this path, not necessarily for the ones who are like me, but for the ones who aren't like me. Who could help make brave spaces for those folks as well?
So that was when I realized visibility was very, very different from what I thought, and I was starting to be able to just be myself and wear suits. I love wearing suits, didn't want to wear dresses or skirts or anything like that, and so finally I said, you know what, I'm okay with being a sharp-dressed woman.
Clothing is another way we communicate who we are before we ever say a word. How do you think what we wear intersects with identity and belonging?
When you go into your closet and choose what you wear, sometimes it's about how you're feeling that day. Everyone has their own style. And it represents who they are, either at that given moment or just as a whole.
I know some days all I want to do is wear comfy clothes. And you know what? That's who I am at that point. But at the end of the day, when you step out of your house, when you step out of your apartment, when you're going into a place, you just want to be you.
And I think that's really what it all is about. I mean, a lot of people express themselves differently, and I think that that's okay. My goal is: don’t put me in a box. You know, normally I wear bow ties, and most folks are like, "Yo, where's your bow tie?” when I don’t wear one. Sometimes the shirt is so incredible, it doesn't need to be dressed up. It doesn't need a bow tie.
Listen, folks who know me already know: The only thing I won't switch it up in is a dress and a skirt. But they know I'm going to switch it up, and I'm going to dress it up.
What is it about sports that makes questions of identity, belonging, and representation so powerful?
Folks will go where they see themselves. And you see the boom in women's sports right now because people are starting to see themselves in these women, even though years ago they did as well, but it wasn't as prominent as it is now because we've got a different generation of kids who are just really comfortable in their skin. I give them all the praise in the world.
I know a lot of folks are saying, “Oh, what's wrong with this younger generation?” But at the end of the day, sometimes the younger generation has to teach those of us in different generations.
What is one thing you hope the next generation never has to think twice about?
One cautionary thing I want to make sure the next generation knows is to be careful about what they post online. Be careful about what you're posting, because I think sometimes, when we put those things out there, people assume that's exactly who you are, even though you've got so much more depth. And it's okay to keep some of that stuff to yourself because at the end of the day, you are who you are. Don't listen to the haters.